CJ works with people who are overwhelmed, overworked, and under-appreciated. Most of her clients have tried traditional solutions and have not gotten the results they needed. Using the very modalities CJ used for her own healing and studied over the years, she now transforms the lives of others. She loves working with powerful-but-exhausted women and setting them on the path to regaining their balance and re-discovering their passion for life. CJ says:
It makes my heart sing when I can visibly see clients’ transformation and empowerment happening, as I help them unload their past baggage and claim their powerful voices. I absolutely love seeing their truth finally honored, their spark re-kindled, and their passion ignited.
In 1997 I found the courage to leave an unhealthy and unhappy marriage that lasted 17 years. Overnight I became a single mom raising five girls, four of whom were teenagers. The kids were angry because of the divorce and constantly fighting between themselves, both physically and verbally, as well as with me.
I faced several challenges as I returned to the workforce. I had made the choice to start a family instead of finishing college, and was a stay-at-home mom while married. I hadn’t worked outside the home for over 10 years, so my earning options were limited and I was stuck in low paying jobs that sucked me dry physically and emotionally. Juggling finances, fearful of getting sick and missing work, and lacking health insurance all contributed to my stress.
Then disaster hit – I was in a series of 3 car accidents over an eighteen-month period. Because I lacked health insurance, getting proper care was an added financial stressor. Shoulder, neck and back pain became a daily reminder of my lack of a good paying job, one that would include health insurance. All of these factors led to a constant struggle with low self-esteem; I found myself filled with anger, self-loathing, doubt, and fear. I was in a negative downward spiral, and had no clue of how to effectively reverse my life into a more positive direction.
Searching for solutions, I started paying attention to the people I knew who were happy with their lives. These weren’t rich people who ‘had it all’ – these were everyday people who were happy, seemed to have purpose, and maintained a positive outlook on life. The common thread I discovered was that these people were committed to personal growth and self-awareness. They took workshops, they read books, they kept journals, and they walked the path of ongoing self-discovery. They didn’t allow any obstacle – even lack of time or money – to stop them in their quest to improve themselves. Somehow, they always found a way to keep going. I committed myself to joining them on that path of discovery, optimism, and growth.
At first, I feared that my limited finances and the chaos of shared custody would be too much to juggle, especially when it came to paying for and attending the personal growth workshops and classes that I was drawn to. Then one day someone quoted Maharishi Mahesh Yogi: Whatever we put our attention on will grow stronger in our life. I found that when I focused my attention on my personal growth, opportunities magically arose that allowed me to manage my time and money in a way that allowed me to keep moving forward.
I waited a couple of years after the divorce before dating. I had read the book Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn which led me to realize I wanted to make some personal changes and understand myself better before I entered the dating world.
Once I felt like I understood myself better and had healed some of my childhood wounds, I then embarked on the period in my life I jokingly refer to ‘my serial dating frenzy.’ I would date someone for a few weeks then stop, for whatever reason. I kept thinking that surely I’ve done enough personal work to let me find love and get on with my life. As the years passed, I became frustrated and depressed, I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long (in my mind) to find someone to be in a long-term relationship with. I was certainly out there dating! About eight years into single life, (I know, eight years! Right?) I was questioning why love and relationship were eluding me. In the quiet moments of meditation my answer came: You are showing your daughters the importance of being a strong, independent woman. One who doesn’t choose a life partner from fear, rather from a happy and confident place. This understanding helped me to stop the ‘serial dating game’ and change my internal mantra of I don’t want to be alone, what’s wrong with me? to I love my life and I’m ready to find my purpose. By consciously making that shift in my thinking, I opened myself to being available for the kind of relationship I was looking for. Within a year I had met the man who is now my husband, and I have the loving, supportive partnership I always wanted.
My journey as a single mother learning to love myself was, at times, challenging and terrifying, but also surprisingly exhilarating. As I opened up to new ideas and actively searched for ways to live life differently, I was introduced to amazing people, teachings and modalities. These, in turn, ultimately led me to healing my physical body, my emotional pain, and my relationships – with my daughters, my ex-husband, and most importantly, myself.
I learned how to release my toxic past, create healthy relationships, set and maintain strong boundaries, and live a life of joy. It hasn’t been easy, it didn’t happen overnight, and wasn’t exactly what I expected! At the end of the day, however, I can honestly say it was worth every effort. Before my journey I was constantly worried about how I could set my daughters up for greater success and happiness in life. It turns out that the best way to do that was leading by example. This was highlighted when my daughters commented on more than one occasion – our lives and our relationships got better when mom started doing all her weird personal growth stuff. Hearing this and recognizing that my transformation has had such a profound impact upon my kids is the cherry on top of my joyful sundae!